Biochemistry and Premeditated Disqualification

And they have nothing to do with each other

Biochemistry:
This week found me working in a Biochemical laboratory. No, I was not mixing chemicals, at least, not intentionally. I was playing with magnetic force (this explains why my credit cards don't work anymore). But I wasn't supposed to be doing that either. In fact, all I was supposed to be doing was running wires . How boring is that? Here I was, surrounded by 'brains' (men with bushy hair, wrapped in lab coats, emitting evil sounding laughs from their curled lips) while they mixed, tested and...who knows what...with nuclear chemicals. For all I know, they've got atomic bombs in the basement!!! And their Russian accents didn't do anything to console my fears.

When I first went in, they told me that the radiation levels were so low that I almost didn't even have to worry about it...if I just washed my hands before I left, I would be fine! Then I leaned on a counter and someone says, "Watch OUT!!! That's the most likely place to get radiated... Go wash your hands right now!" Thanks! Like, you could have told me that sooner...now I've been radiated. Hey, at least I'll probably NEVER get cancer .

Premeditated Disqualification:
It happened in a small town late one morning. Willie was the victim of one of the most heinous crimes known to man! Premeditated Disqualification. He is firmly convinced that when he arrived at the DMV, keyed and ready to take his 'behind the wheel' driving test, he became another statistic, a victim...

"She never had any intention of passing me" says Willie, "in fact, she was failing everybody!" Poor Willie, a tall friendly looking 18 year-old. He was disqualified on the first turn. He had practiced and studied his whole life in anticipation for this moment and it hardly took 60 seconds to crush his dreams.

Willie pulled out of the parking lot and, following the examiners instructions, prepared to make a right turn. Driving past a long line of parked cars, he switched on the right turn signal and let off the accelerator. Coming to the end of the parked cars he eased right...and that's where it happened!!! The examiner accused him of not looking in his mirror and disqualified him...that was it!

The DMV was a scene of utter chaos immediately following the incident, crowds were surging in, some demanding answers, others looking subdued and worried. The DMV was not very cooperative and didn't want to give out information. The DMV department of public relations offered no comment.

The truth:
Biochemistry- The only part I made up was the description of the mad scientist. The employees at the lab are actually very friendly, kind and easy to work with/around. And I don't have any fear of an atomic bomb. The rest is true.

Premeditated Disqualification- No part of this is made up although the closing sentence is misleading. While written to sound like I was reporting current events...this is actually the norm for a CA DMV. And the reason DMV's PR offered no comment is probably because no one asked.